Sometimes I catch myself late at
night lying in bed thinking about my kids. I have twin sons that are 3 years
old and they can be a handful at times. My investigation has shown me that most
toddlers have that same trait! They’re very fond of climbing these days.
They’ll climb anything and if I tell them “no” that only adds fuel to the fire.
I often catch myself raising my voice demanding that they get down. Most of the
time they look right at me and smile and climb even higher. It can get really
frustrating at times.
Toddlers seem to be on a mission
from God to completely disregard any instructions given by their parents.
Whether it’s climbing something forbidden or pulling everything out of the
refrigerator and tossing it into the washing machine they simply love being
disobedient. As a parent this can be very challenging. On the one hand I
desperately want to encourage their curiosity and sense of adventure, but on
the other hand I want them to learn to obey the rules in life.
Many times their mother and I lie in
bed and talk about how they’ve been acting during the day and we often wonder
if we are cut out to be parents. We tend to have a lot of great moments as
parents like how recently Asher, the oldest, correctly identified all of the
shapes that we showed him. Score one big one for the home team! Just the other
day Jayden, the youngest, said almost all of his ABCs in order. Talk about a
win! Some nights we talk about the good things that they are doing, but other
times we talk about the areas where they aren’t listening or minding well.
Those times seem to wipe all the scores off the scoreboard in our minds. We
know that this isn’t fully true, since they are learning and progressing way
better than the times they are disobedient, but it’s still something we talk
about.
At times I catch myself lying in the
bed just thinking about my boys. Most parents can identify with me here. You
think about how lucky you are to have them in your life and can’t imagine what
you would do without them. Every now and then I will think about special
moments that we had in the day or the week and as I’m lying in the bed I get
this overwhelming urge to go and wake them up just to hug them and play with
them. If you’re a parent reading this you know how crazy I sound right now! The
Golden Rule with raising toddlers is: when
they sleep let them sleep! Thankfully I am smarter than that so I resist
the urge to wake them up and squeeze hug them and simply let my happy thoughts
of them lull me to sleep.
I can’t help but love my kids. If
you’re a parent you know what I’m talking about. You think about how talented
they are and how smart they are and your heart nearly bursts with pride and
gratefulness. In those moments it’s like the only thing that matters is
grabbing them, pulling them close to you, and losing yourself in the moment of
love. I sit and think about what they will be like when they get older. I
picture them as school kids learning science and math and I smile. I imagine
what they will be like when they first understand the message of the Gospel. I
dream of them growing up and finding out what their purpose in life is and me
being able to help them grow closer to Jesus. These are the moments that cause
me to thank God and beg him to keep my boys close to him. I just can’t wait to
help them become everything they were created to become. That’s just how
parents think.
Now you’re probably thinking,
“Brian, this is all nice and everything, but what does this have to do with
leadership and ministry?” I’m glad you asked. I believe that God, our Heavenly
Father, dreams about us the same way that I sit in bed and think about my kids.
God sees you and he sees me and his heart is full of hope and excitement that
we will become all that he designed us to be. Even if we’ve been climbing
something that we shouldn’t or if we’ve taken the ketchup and dumped it into
the washing machine, God still dreams of our best. As leaders if we never fully
embrace the truth that God cares about who
we are way more than what we do we
will always chase the wrong things. We will chase success and wind up empty. We
will chase more people attending our churches and wind up empty. We will chase
the next big ministry opportunity and wind up empty. We have to chase Him and
Him alone.
As a leader I have fallen victim to
the lie that success will fulfill me. I have done all sorts of things to get
people into our church. I have spent hours crafting messages that will make
people “like” our church. I have invested money into growing our church. I have
read tons of books to get better. I have done so many things to be happy and
fulfilled as a leader, and although those are good things they aren’t the
central thing. What matters is that I live every moment of my life knowing that
God loves me no matter what.
I’m not saying that we don’t have to
do “things” to grow ourselves as leaders. I believe that if we stop growing
eventually we will stop leading at the level that God desires for our lives. I
have devoted my life to helping people and leaders grow and fulfill the call of
God on their lives. What I am saying is that all of those things lose their
edge if we substitute them for a life lived from the security of our loving
Father. Let’s face it we will never preach a good enough message that makes God
stand up and say, “Wow! That was deep!” God doesn’t love us more when our
churches grow and he doesn’t love us less when people leave. God loves us
because God loves us!
Imagine how different your life as a
leader will be if you start living from
God’s approval instead of for God’s
approval. Picture yourself leading with God’s love in your sails. I bet you
would have more confidence. I bet you would make different decisions in your
meetings. I bet you would enjoy the journey more.
As leaders we have a tendency to seek
approval from man. That’s normal (and I believe that it’s okay if we have a
healthy balance). The downfall of needing others’ approval is that we can let
their voice become louder that God’s. We can become more concerned with what
they think instead of what He thinks. That is when we are out of balance.
Recently I went on a long motorcycle
ride with my neighbor. It was a beautiful coastal Virginia day and we decided
to make the most of it by breaking out the Harleys and hitting the road. When
we got back home he immediately got on his knees at the front of the motorcycle
and for a second I was wondering if he was going to pray to Harley-Davidson! In
a few seconds he stood up and said, “I lost a weight.” Vehicle tires are tested
for balance and small weights are placed on certain areas of the wheel in order
to help it roll in balance and if you don’t have the proper amount of weight
the ride can be a little rough. That day he could tell that the ride wasn’t as
smooth as it should have been because a tiny weight had thrown the whole tire
off balance. If we live without embracing God’s view of us we live lives that
are out of balance and in the end the ride is rougher than it should be. Take
some time today to start balancing your leadership from the view of God and not
only the view of man. Remember: God thinks of you when he’s lying in bed each
night!*
*I
know that God doesn’t lie in bed and that he doesn’t sleep…it’s a metaphor.
Enjoy it!
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