6 Things I've Learned About Being a Pastor

Yesterday marked my 6 year anniversary as a lead pastor. Over the course of those years I've been privileged to serve as the lead pastor of two churches. I have had a huge deal of fun along the way as well as many disappointments. So today I decided to list 6 things I've learned about being a pastor. So in no particular order here we go:

1) Being a lead pastor is hard. 

Yup. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I never understood the level of stress on the lead pastor until I became one. Being a youth pastor didn't compare. Being a worship pastor didn't compare. Being a young adult leader didn't compare. It wasn't until I was the guy responsible for the whole ship that the weight of the call became its heaviest. 

As John Maxwell says, "If you're out front you're gonna get kicked in the rear." Well if you're the lead pastor you're gonna have a sore rear!

2) It won't happen as fast as you want it to. 

A few years ago I hear pastor Craig Groeschel say, "Most of us overestimate what God wants to do in the short run of our lives and underestimate what God wants to do in the long run." What a powerful statement! Ministry is a marathon and not a sprint. Those grandiose dreams you have for your church and ministry will take longer to accomplish than you think. Along the way God will have to break you and make you into the leader capable of handling the dream. Don't give up. Don't let discouragement stop you. Enjoy the journey more than the destination. 

3) The relationships you build are more important than the stuff you do. 

Here are two important truths every lead pastor needs to remember: Your life will be drained by ministry. Your life will be enriched by healthy relationships. 

If you spend more of your time "doing ministry" than you do building relationships with others eventually it will catch up with you and I promise you won't like what you see. Us lead pastors suffer from a disease called "drivin-itis." We live for results and often sacrifice relationships on the altar of results. I promise you that the people who are in your life matter more than you realize. Don't get me wrong, the stuff you do is valuable, you are building God's Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. That's important stuff! What we have to learn along the way is that there will always be more ministry opportunities than relational opportunities and in the end when we are at our best ministerially it is a direct correlation to being in healthy, life-giving relationships. 

Slow down. Make some friends. Spend time win people outside of your church. Don't talk about church all the time. Go to a ballgame with friends. Catch a movie with another couple. Laugh. Enjoy life with people who don't always want something from you. Relationships matter. 

This is so important y'all. As the lead pastor everyone wants something from you. It is impossible to function at the level God desires without taking time so unplug from the machine and reboot with others who can let you be you. Find a handful of friends (more than likely outside of your church) who will let you be you and not "pastor you." You'll thank me later. Your spouse will thank me now!

4) Don't be scared to lead. 

Early on in my time as a lead pastor I was scared to ask people to trust my leadership. I would often sit in leadership meetings and give easily-attainable ideas and goals because I didn't want to ruffle too many feathers. After all I needed buy-in from the people. During those early days God was gracious to us and in spite of my sometimes timid leadership our church grew. The problem was we were limited in our potential because I was too scared to lead fully from where I knew we needed to go. 

One evening after a meeting with our leadership team one of our elders came to me and said, "Pastor, we really need you to lead us." At first I was somewhat offended. I thought I was leading the church. Then he explained that the value I added to our team was in knowing what steps we needed to take to reach people for Christ and if I held back because I was scared they wouldn't like what we had to do then I was limiting our effectiveness. That night I realized that I was too scared to lead in a big way. Ever since that conversation I have tried (and prayed) to lead big and not be scared to ask people for a big commitment. 

Don't be scared to navigate the course of your church where God is calling you to go. Of course you need to take into account the ideas and thoughts of others on your team. Don't dismiss the concerns of those around you, but at the end of the day you have to make progress by taking risks and leading big. I promise you that along the course of your ministry people will leave because of a decision you make. Thats the nature of our business. It hurts and it happens. However there is another byproduct of leading big...new people will show up. Don't be scared to lead. 

This means being the final voice on decisions that will cost thousands of dollars. Lead big. That ,exams being the final voice on decisions that will upset long standing members of the congregation. Lead big (Don't be a jerk about it. Make every effort to meet with them and lovingly hear their concerns as you explain why you and the team feel God directing you to change). This means being the final voice on decisions that will change the direction of the church for years to come. Lead big. 

One more thing is important for me to mention here: the guy who challenged me to lead big was younger than me. I didn't ignore his words or get offended because I was older and had more experience Han him. I knew he had my best interest in mind and he was the voice of God that evening.

5) You're gonna hurt...a lot.

We live in a broken world. We work with broken people. We are broken people. The reality is that hurting people hurt people. The nature of our business is to help restore broken and hurting people. People will look to you in the most emotionally and psychologically charged times of their lives. No other profession requires you to be the strength of entire families from birth to death. You will visit the nursery of the hospital to rejoice over the newborn baby and you will visit that same hospital to cry with the family that just lost their newborn baby. You will marry people who have been high school sweethearts for years and you will help that same couple recover from a nasty divorce. You will be there at the gravesite offering hope to those who are saying goodbye to their loved ones. You will be in the stands on Friday night when their son takes the field. You will be there at the best of times and you will be there at the worst of times. 

That's just what we do. 

What happens when our faces are associated with so many dynamics of life-change is people can often connect us with pain and sorry just as quickly as they connect us with joy and hope. 

Another dynamic at play here is the reality that you will make some mistakes along the way. You're going to preach a message that's too harsh one day and people will be hurt by your words instead of helped by your words. You're going to make an unpopular leadership decision and people will leave the church. You're going to miss an event and people will be offended. You're going to miss a hospital visit and people will get mad with you. You're going to have someone on your team make a bad decision and you are going to be blamed for it. You are going to be accused of being lazy and only working 2 hours a week. You are going to be considered too theologically liberal or too conservative or to Pentecostal or not Pentecostal enough. You are going to be constantly criticized. Your sermons will be too long for some and too short for others. You will read too many bible verses for some and not enough for others. You will have some people who love you and some who despise you. You will hear about everything going wrong and rarely hear about things that you are doing right. Your family will be under an unhealthy and unrealistic microscope. As the lead pastor you (and many times your family) are going to hurt. 

People will praise your church as "the church they've always wanted to be a part of" and then months later leave because you "aren't meeting their needs" and they're "just not getting fed." Someone will challenge your authority and persuade others to lose confidence in you. Others will tell you everywhere your sermon wasn't perfect. Some will chose to leave and start their own church and will take others with them. Some will hold you responsible for mistakes other pastors have made. Some will constantly tear down your church and your character publicly. 

As the lead pastor you are going to hurt a lot. 

It has taken me a long time to understand this truth. I pray that you don't get disillusioned by the pain. Don't give up on the dream God has placed inside of you. Let God turn your pain into fuel for your destiny. In the book Good to Great in God's Eyes Chip Ingram says, "Every great dream will be taken to the Cross." When you are experiencing pain chances are God is taking you by the Cross. Before God can get the new wine of His Spirit in your life and ministry he has to crush the grapes of your life and ministry. Learn to navigate pain with the help of God, good friends, and great balance of work and pleasure. The pain will produce a great promise. 

6) It's ALL Worth it. 

Pastor Ferrell Hardison of The Bridge Church in Goldsboro, North Carolina says, "We pastors are crazy people. We're the only people who are ready to change careers on Monday and then on Saturday night can't wait to go do it again!" He's right you know. We have been bitten by the big of God and we can't get away from the joy of serving Him and helping people. We have seen God use us to make others' lives better and we just can't give it up. 

In ministry the highs are higher than anything else and the lows are lower, but in the end it's ALL worth it. If you've been struggling with the lows of ministry life remember God has called you and He will fulfill you. Your life and your ministry matters. I know that I am grateful for you. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. You are making more of a difference than you realize. Try to take your mind off the issues and look at everything that you are doing right. One of my mentors, pastor Brett Cooper always says, "You can quit, but you've got to start over again tomorrow!" Don't give up. Your life matters and in the end it's ALL worth it. 

Mission Critical: Why the Mission of the Church is More Important Now Than Ever Before

            Recently I have been catching myself repeating one of my favorite catchy one-liners in a lot of conversations. For those of you that know me you know that I tend to enjoy a classic one-liner. They’re simple, portable truths that can stick with you after the meal is done.

            Plus they make me feel smarter than I really am which is a huge plus!

            Back to the story, I have been saying over and over again this statement: This is proof that our mission is more important than ever. That has been my tagline to a myriad of separate issues.

Someone is having marriage problems? This is proof that our mission is more important than ever. Someone else is wrestling with identity issues? This is proof that our mission is more important than ever. Someone just got a negative health scan from a doctor? This is proof that our mission is more important than ever.

You get the picture?

Honestly I haven’t been trying to flippantly respond to any particular crisis. I have simply been reminded that our mission – Pointing people to the love of God through personal relationship with Jesus Christ – is more important now than ever. It is that life-giving relationship with Christ that will ultimately sustain. Jesus came to bring healing and freedom and my job isn’t to try and overcome your issue my job is to point you to the One who already overcame.

Again, this is proof that our mission is more important than ever.

People need the love and mercy of God. Every day we encounter countless men and women who are struggling with self-worth. We are constantly bombarded with images that tell us that we aren’t good enough if we don’t live in a certain type of home or drive a certain type of vehicle. Media outlets remind us that value and worth is tied to what we own so we constantly chase our tails in an endless struggle to obtain more stuff only to find out that in the end the stuff owns us and we don’t own it.

People are committing suicide at earlier ages now than ever in history. Marriages are struggling and falling apart. Young girls are looking for love and beauty and willing to pay anything to anyone who shows her a little attention. Teenage pregnancies are on the rise. Sexting runs rampant even in children as young as middle school. We glorify films and music that objectify women and glorify sex in any way, shape, or form. We live in a generation that wasn’t satisfied with the twerk and therefore created the wall-twerk.

This is proof that our mission is more important than ever.

People need to know that there is a God who loves them and validates who they are as people apart from anything they could do to earn his acceptance. This world needs to hear that there is someone greater than they that desperately desires to be connected to them in a meaningful way not in an abusive way. Our mission – The Mission – matters and people need to be forever made whole because we rise up and get on mission.

This is proof that our mission is more important than ever.

I’m not trying to be preachy here. I’m just struck with the reality that if we don’t get fired up about our mission then we will never meet the needs of humanity that is lying – even dying – at our doorsteps. I’ve found that in the church world we would rather sing about it, talk about it, preach about it, small group about it, blog about it (myself included) than be about it. We like to do the above because it satisfies our guilt for not doing it while never actually holding our proverbial feet to the fire pushing us out of our comfort zone and actually doing what Jesus told us to do.

And in regards to our theoretical Christianity – this is proof that our mission is more important than ever. The mission has to work on us before it will work in us. If we aren’t compelled by The Mission then we need to reevaluate whether or not we have been touching The Mission. Don’t let a counterfeit mission give you empty calories focus on The Mission and leave with a full belly.

3 quick suggestions:

1.   Engage in mission everyday. That’s right. Everyday. It can be as simple as saying, “Jesus love you” or as challenging as crossing a jungle-river to share the Gospel with a local tribe of people in a remote corner of the third world. The size of the external is no indication of the size of the internal. What matters is that we are actively seeking ways to engage in mission everyday.

2.    Do Mission Together. That has actually become a rallying cry at our church. We plant the flag of mission in nearly everything we do. From Sunday morning services to small groups we are all about doing mission together. Three words: Do – Implying that we have to be active. Mission – The reason we are all here. Together – No more “Lone Ranger” stuff. We are doing this thing as a team. Jesus taught and modeled that mission is at its most successful when others are involved. He could have completed his mission alone, but he chose to take along 12 guys in a close-knit family. Let’s take a page out of Jesus’ playbook and do mission together.

3.    Pray missionally. God’s greatest desire is for his lost children to come home. We will never have more of God’s power than when we are seeking to engage in God’s mission. Peyton Jones, author of Church Zero, recently said, “Everywhere you see the power of God in the book of Acts it is in reference to people living on mission.” The truth is that when we pray missionally God begins to pour out his power in ways that we will never fully experience in other ways. Praying for God to open doors for the Gospel yield powerful times of God opening doors for the Gospel. He wants to get his message out and he wants you to be a chief brand manager. Begin to ask him to open doors for the Gospel in your life and then be ready to walk through those doors when he does!

Those are three simple suggestions to become more mission-oriented in life. There are many other suggestions and principles that many can add to this list. The important thing is that we are doing something to fully engage in the mission of God by serving those far from God and serving those close to God. To quote Nike, “Just Do It!”

Emotional Health: The Leader's Best Friend or Worst Nightmare

If I had to list one area that will cause most leaders great joy or great difficulty I would say that area is the emotional health of said leader. Nothing derails leadership potential and productivity like an emotionally unhealthy leader. When we haven't taken the time and effort to maintain our emotional health we become insecure, needy, judgmental, and bitter - just to name a few! We move away from leading people and fly first-class to the land of needing people. When we place an unhealthy need on people we will never be able to lead them in a helpful way. When we hunger for approval we will do just about anything to get it. When we live with insecurity nothing will ever satisfy our desire for the validation of others. When we aren't fine with our personal leadership and identity then we will never fully appreciate and celebrate other leaders in our lives. Simply put, emotional health is one of the most important areas of a leader's life to focus on. 

One of the more prominent examples of an emotionally unhealthy leader is found in he Old Testament leader King Saul. Saul was he first king of the nation of Israel. He was chosen by the people the be the leader of the entire lot of people. He was tall, dark, and handsome - the picture of leadership and power. The problem is that Saul wasn't comfortable in his own identity and eventually became jealous and suspicious of others in his life. 

Enter David. 

David was just a shepherd boy. He was a teenager who wasn't old enough to fight in the war sent to the frontlines by an errand for his father. He wasn't setting out to change the course of history, but as many times in life history had a different plan for him. David eventually defeats Goliath, the overgrown nemesis of the nation of Israel, and finds himself becoming a pretty popular man in the area. As a matter of fact, ladies sang songs in his honor. 1 Samuel 18.7 says, "As they danced, they sang: 'Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.'" Talk about notoriety! David was the new national hero. He was the name on everyone's lips. Young Jewish boys would pretend to be David in their backyards and playgrounds. Gone were the days of everyone worshipping the power of Saul. Now David was the favorite dish on everyone's menu. 

These things are good...if you are David. If you are Saul now your emotional health is being stretched to the limits. Unfortunately for Saul he could never find a way to let David into his life and ultimately his leadership and life was cut short as a result. 

1 Samuel 18.9 - "And from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David."

Saul was jealous. He was emotionally unhealthy. He was scared that David would forcefully take he throne and run him out of town. What he missed because of being emotionally unhealthy was that David could have been his greatest ally instead he made David his greatest enemy. His unhealthy emotions caused him to sever a relationship that could have solidified his kingdom for generations to come. 

Here are 3 things to learn about emotional health from Saul's life:

1. Emotionally Unhealthy Leaders Can't Handle New Leaders Emerging Within the Group

Saul couldn't handle the rise of David. He was insecure and jealous. He was fearful of Dacid's growing popularity. I've noticed that emotionally unhealthy leaders never do well with emerging leaders. Emotionally unhealthy leaders are always suspicious and jealous of emerging leaders. They view new leaders as threats instead of assets to the group.

How do you combat this kind of insecurity? 

Be comfortable in your own skin. Only you can be you. You are a valuable part of the team and no one can take that from you but you. 

Expect and celebrate the Davids in your life. New leaders emerge. That's just a fact of life. Be okay welcoming new members to the team. Celebrate the fact that your organization is growing at such a pace that it requires and encourages new leaders to emerge. Refuse to let jealousy put you in a choke hold. 

2. Emotionally Unhealthy Leaders Care More About Their Position Than the Mission of the Group

Saul was worried that David would replace him. That's classic positional leader thinking. Stop being obsessed with titles and position and start being intentional about fulfilling the mission of he team! Saul was upset because David defeated Goliath and received the accolades that comes along with a great military victory. Remember that Goliath was a serious problem that Saul needed to deal with. David solved the problem, but Saul couldn't handle the threat to his position as the great king. Nothing screams unhealthy emotions like a leader that is more concerned with his or her position than the mission of the group. John Maxwell in The 5 Levels of Leadership says, "The leader makes the position the position doesn't make the leader." Refuse to let the trap of positional leadership hold you in its grip! 

How do you combat the positional leadership trap?

Remember why you started. Go back in your heart to the day you decided to join the team. Remember the passion you had when you first got the job. Rekindle the flame of your hunger to make a difference. Often times we can get so caught up in the everyday operations that we forget that we are actually impacting people in a positive way. Don't let the lust for a position stop you from embracing emerging leaders and growing the impact of the organization. I can promise you that if you spend the bulk of your energy leading and growing you will never lose your position no matter how many Davids arise within the group. Focus on making a difference not achieving/maintaining a position.

3. Emotionally Unhealthy Leaders Need the Validation of Others

Saul started to slip into an unhealthy frame of mind not when David defeated Goliath, but when he heard the women of the city singing songs about David. In the same way emotionally unhealthy leaders need the validation of others to make them feel satisfied in life. These are the people who are always fishing for compliments. They always need someone to tell them "good job" or "attaboy." When you lead only for the positive affirmation of the crowd you will never lead beyond the impact of your least popular decision. As a leader you will many times have to make decisions that some people in the organization will not fully agree with or like. If you have to have everyone singing your praises then you will never make the difficult decisions because you need the validation of the crowd.  Don't worry about whether people like you as much as you worry about fulfilling the mission of your life.

If you constantly need people telling you "good job" or "wow, you're awesome!" chances are you will never allow David to add value to your team. 

How do you combat the validation trap?

Learn to get your validation first from God and secondly from within yourself. If you aren't happy with the job you are doing then no one else will ever fill the void left by your feelings of inadequacy. Stop needing the affirmation of others and be comfortable being who God created you to be! 

The subject of Emotional Health could fill up a million different blog posts and books so I will stop here for now. Spend some time searching your own heart and see how healthy you are emotionally. If you find insecurity and jealousy lurking around the corner I would encourage you to stop and focus the next few weeks of your leadership on finding wholeness. Remember you will never be able to consistent,y lead people beyond your own emotional health. 

Maintenance vs. Renovation -- Guest Blogger: Bryan Johnson

Guest Blogger: Bryan Johnson - Youth Pastor, Social Circle United Methodist Church

Pastor Bryan Johnson has served as the Youth Pastor of Social Circle United Methodist Church for 6 years. He and his wife Anna have been married for 5 years and they have 2 beautiful dogs - Georgia and Caroline. Bryan is a 2007 graduate of Emmanuel College School of Christian ministry program and is currently in the M.Div course at Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Bryan is an avid Georgia Bulldogs fan and loves playing guitar to some of his favorite Dave Matthews Band songs or John Mayer songs. Bryan has had tons of practical experience in various leadership roles and has a heart to mentor the next generation of pastors and leaders for the Body of Christ.

Maintenance vs. Renovation

            I hate the word “maintenance.” Maintenance implies that something is broken and it needs to be “maintained.” Maintained does not mean “fixed.” To fix something means to solve the problem.  To maintain something means to rig up a temporary solution that hides or ignores the problem.  Like I said, I hate the word “maintenance.” It is a stupid word. 

            Most of us look at our lives and try to perform maintenance on our problems.  We apply a temporary “fix” to a deep and complicated problem.  Then we wonder why we keep failing again and again and again…We fail because we keep performing maintenance on a problem that requires a complete renovation.  We need brand new parts.  Slapping paint on rotten wood does not fix the problem.  Pretty rotten wood is still rotten wood. 

            Renovation does not start with the outside and work its way inward.  You do not paint the rotten wood and then remove it.  First, you replace the rotten wood with new wood.  Then the painting begins.  The same is true for spiritual formation.  We cannot change who we are by “doing” more things.  I have discovered that if I want to pray more, than I can do one of two things: I can either force myself to spend time praying (which will not last), or I can let God transform my heart and give me the desire and passion to want to pray.  Forcing ourselves to do something that our heart is not prepared to do will never last. 

Here is a spiritual truth that we all need to understand: God changes the internal to produce changes in the external. True spiritual formation starts in the heart and works its way outward.  It says in 1 Samuel 16:7—“God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” God would rather change our hearts than us change our actions.  He knows that a transformed heart is the only thing that will produce true and lasting fruit.  (I highly recommend reading Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard).

So stay away from maintenance and seek renovation.  Don’t settle for maintenance on your heart when God is willing to give you a new one. 

Insecurity in Leadership

8 Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 So Saul eyed David from that day forward.

1 Samuel 18.8-9

               

     Insecurity is a terrible thing. It makes us feel like we are less than perfect. It holds us hostage to unhealthy emotions and an unfair standard. Insecurity lies to us and tells us that we aren’t – when God is telling us that we are. Insecurity can ruin your leadership. It will slowly wrap around your faith and squeeze all the life out of you. There is no place in the life of a leader for insecurity.

               

     In the above passage we find Saul, the reigning king of Israel, succumbing to the lure of insecurity. He is stung by the words of the crowd and for the rest of his life lives in suspicion and jealousy of David. The ironic thing is that David would have been Saul’s greatest ally if only Saul had been able to overcome his insecurity.

               

     I wonder how many of us are chasing “David” away because of insecurity. Seriously. “David” is that new leader who has a ton of ideas. “David” is that church member that finally caught a fire for Jesus (the very passion that you have been praying she would get) and now suggests that you start new ministries. “David” is that person who you keep at arms distance because they have to “prove their faithfulness” before you let them serve in a greater capacity.

     If we are honest with ourselves we would say that “David” threatens everything that has “Saul’s” blood running through it. What I mean by that is we get comfortable with our status and position and when someone upsets the apple cart by offering fresh perspective and new ideas we can get territorial. All of a sudden we catch ourselves thinking negative thoughts about people on the team or in the church. “Why can’t he just listen to what I’m saying?” “I’m the one who has been here serving when no one else was here. She needs to chill out and just do what I said.” “He hasn’t even been a Christian for 2 months and now he wants to lead a group?!” The list goes on and on.

     

     Beware of places where insecurity has crept into your heart. Saul eventually threw spears at David trying to kill him. Actually, his overwhelming need to get rid of David was what ultimately led to his death. Like I said earlier, insecurity is a terrible thing.

     

     Here are a few observations about insecurity in Saul’s life that we might identify with:

1. He was more concerned with public opinion than with his God-given position.

     It was the singing of the town’s women that sent Saul into his insecure tizzy. They exaggerated the works of both men yet Saul was angry because the new kid on the block was given more credit than he was. I cannot tell you how many times I have been victim to this trick. In ministry it is so easy to draw our identity from the crowd. That’s why for many pastors the greatest day of the week and the worst day of the week is Sunday. On that day if the house is packed and people respond well to the sermon the soft whisper of insecurity reminds us of how great we are. However when we have lower numbers than usual or preach what we consider a “bad” sermon that same voice that once reassured us now confirms how terrible we are. “Well you bombed that one!” “I’ll be surprised if anyone comes back next week!”

     Ministry success in not defined by numbers. Period. Numbers don’t prove that you are a good leader. That day Saul placed too much emphasis on the movement of the crowd and not enough emphasis on his God-given position. Regardless of what those silly women sang as they shook their ancient tambourines that day there was still one simple truth…Saul was still the king. There song didn’t change his position. He lost track of that because he was more concerned with public opinion than with his God-given position. Don’t draw your significance from the song of the crowd. You’re better than that. If God has put you in your position celebrate His choosing of you and don’t let the jingling of the tambourines change your mind.

2. He jumped to unhealthy conclusions.

     Check this out: Saul actually took the words from a song that women were singing because they were glad the battle with the Philistines was over and in essence said, “Wow they have said David is amazing. I guess the next thing they’re going to do is kill me so that he can be the king!” Saul was displaying the classic tell-tale signs of a spiritual hypochondriac. He thought that matters were worse than they actually were.

     My wife picks on me because I tend to act like a hypochondriac at times. You know my type: a soon as I get a sore throat I go to WebMD and look at the symptoms only to realize that I have low spinal fluid, polio, and throat cancer! Stop laughing. You know how we can get! That’s what’s happening here with Saul. He hears a silly song (not from Larry) and freaks out because he thinks the sky is falling! It’s kind of like how us pastors can get when someone disagrees with a decision we make and we start looking at www.churchjobs.com for a new job. Calm down. Take a few deep breaths. Drink some cold water. It’s just a silly song. Don’t jump to conclusions. Let the younger leaders have their celebration. Heck, even celebrate with them! Don’t be so scared that the “kingdom” is on the line that you don’t enjoy the journey.

     I want to point out here that Saul was scared over a silly song that was sang in the heat of the moment. I don’t want to call the character of those young Israelite women into account here, but I want to point out that they were just making stuff up off the cuff. They didn’t put together a task force to research all of David and Saul’s military exploits. They didn’t bring in Randy Johnson from American Idol and have him coach them on the song writing process. They just opened their mouths and started singing. They were glad the war was over and that’s all. Yet the insecurity within Saul’s heart caused him to forfeit his joy over a few silly songs. Don’t let a silly song rob you of your joy.

3. He held a grudge.

     Verse 9 says, “So Saul eyed David from that day forward.” As a matter of fact on several occasions Saul tried to kill David. From that day forward all the affairs of King Saul’s administration were focused on eliminating David as a threat to the crown. Saul eventually ruined relationships with his daughter Michal and his son Jonathan because of his grudge with David. He even lost his throne over it. The one thing that he was trying to protect he ended up losing because the intoxication of his grudge clouded his judgment and hampered his effectiveness as a leader.

     That’s why we must labor to accept the Davids in our lives. Let them win every now and then. Pray for them. Ask God to surround you with Davids. Ask God to help you not be an insecure leader. If you are holding onto a grudge stop right now and let it go. Listen to me when I say you need David to help you be successful. David is not there to hurt you – he’s there to help you. Stop letting insecurity rob you of the blessing of teamwork. In ministry it really is true that we’re better together. Saul lost sight of that and it cost him dearly. Don’t make the same mistake.

The Little Things

Recently I had a wonderful lunch conversation with a friend who is a very successful pastor. He was sharing with me a few leadership principles that he had learned in nearly 30 years of ministry. One thing he said that really caught my attention was, "Don't forget the little things." The little things are hand written thank you cards when someone gives you a gift or taking someone out to lunch and spending time listening to their stories or dropping a card in the mail letting someone know you are praying for them. 

I know it sounds simple and maybe even "old school," but this is really the heart of pastoring. Leadership guru John Maxwell says, "Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand." The little things make sure you continue to touch the hearts of those you are privileged to lead. 

In ministry it's very easy to forget the little things. If we were honest we would all say that at times we focus on connecting with new guests and prospective leaders at first and then eventually dial back our intentionality with them. After all, when the new guests come back 5 or 6 weeks in a row they are now part of the church and we are off to the next new guest. And thus the cycle continues. Think about it this way, when I first met my wife I went out of my way to impress her. I bought flowers and clothes and chocolates and perfume. Whatever it took to get the job done. Fast forward 5 years and 2 kids later and I am ashamed to confess that I can't remember the last time I randomly bought her flowers or perfume. In essence I forgot the little things. 

**author's note: At the time of this writing I am preparing to leave and buy a surprise gift for my wife :)

What would your ministry look like if you took 2 hours a week and focused on the little things? Maybe you are the Michael Phelps of the little things...I bet you can improve! Maybe you are like me and aren't the best at executing the little things - just start small a d work toward improvement. Hey, here's a great idea -- find one of those Michael Phelps characters we mentioned earlier and have them help mentor you along. Wayne Cordeiro recently said during his session at the Exponential conference, "You can start small, but you have to start now!" That's how we watch the little things improve and become the big things in our ministry. 

Here are a few tips to improve our effectiveness with the little things:

1) Schedule it. If we don't schedule our time someone will! Don't expect it to just happen. You don't expect dinner to just happen. You don't expect your kids to just magically appear at school. You schedule what matters. Schedule time to give attention to the little things. My current schedule is an hour on Mondays and an hour on Thursdays. It's not a lot of time but it's time devoted solely to the little things. 

2) Decide what you will do. Are you going to send postcards or hand-written letters? Both? What about emails and social media follow up? Will you take someone out for lunch or visit with someone at their home? Don't overlook this step. Decide in advance what your gameplan is going to be and then make it happen. 

3) Switch it up. You want consistency, but you don't want fake, obligatory, oh-that's-just-a-letter-from-the-preacher thing either. Don't get caught in a rut. If you always send postcards on Mondays eventually people will think you are just performing a task on your to-do list. Don't settle in on the same thing just for the sake if doing something. Imagine how boring it would be if every night you ate a ham and cheese sandwich with a few potato chips. You'd get pretty tired of the ham sandwich. My guess is before the week ended you'd be finding a new meal! The same is true in our pastoral connections with those we serve. Switch it up. Get creative. 

4) Be genuine. No one likes a fake. If you are doing the little things as a gimmick people will quickly see right through you. If you don't love people you can't lead them. I would go so far as to say maybe you don't have a life-giving relationship with Jesus Christ. Love God, love people. It's simple. Pray for them. Encourage them. Get specific. Don't fall for the cheap "I'm glad you come to church with us" line. Affirm what God is doing in their life. Mention specific things that you appreciate about them. Don't get lazy here. Learn to love people. Chose to give them love even when you don't think they "deserve" it. Remember, Christ loved us even when we didn't measure up or deserve it. 

I'm sure there are at least 50 more things that will help add value to our ministry of little things, but these should get us started. You will see how people begin to love and trust you more as you find creative ways to serve them. After 1 or 2 years of little things you'll see how big it really is. And if the little things become the big things in 1-2 years imagine the dividends after 10 or 15 or even 20 years of ministry in the same place! 

I leave you today with an old saying that sums up the ministry of little things: people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. 

Overcoming Fear

“Despite their fear of the peoples around them, they built the altar on its foundation and sacrificed burnt offerings on it to the LORD…”

Ezra 3.3 NIV

                All of us have had moments in life where fear has stopped us from doing what we felt God was calling us to do.  Even the greatest leaders who accomplish amazing things deal with fear.  Fear has the potential to cripple all forward progress and leave us feeling inadequate and insecure.  As a leader we must learn to face our fears and continue to drive onward.  We need to harness the spirit of the great cowboy John Wayne: “Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway.”

                During the reforms of Ezra’s day fear was a constant reality.  The Jewish people were prisoners of war.  They were captive in a foreign land and forced to endure life as glorified servants of their new masters the Persians.  Eventually God touched the heart of Cyrus the Persian king causing him to let the Jews return to Jerusalem to rebuild the broken down city with its temple to Yahweh.  The people banded together and journeyed back to their homeland determined to pick up the pieces of their former lives.  They faced opposition.  People weren’t exactly kind to them nor were they supportive of their rebuilding efforts.  Yet the people still worked.  They faced their fears head on and continued to rebuild.  As a matter of fact, the verse above says that they worked “despite their fear.”

                As leaders we will constantly face the challenge of working despite our fears.  Any time you try to step out and do something new you will face fears.  I think that it is a natural human tendency to think of all the ways that our new endeavor will not work instead of thinking of all the ways that it will work.  We rehearse all the possible setbacks and heartbreaks.  We hear the voice of our friends and family telling us why we shouldn’t do it.  We remember the last time we tried to lead something in a big way only to fall flat on our face.  Eventually all of that thinking breathes life to our fears and paralyzes us from action.

                So I say to you today – NO MORE!!!  If God is calling you to do it…do it!  Embrace your fears, yes that’s right – embrace them.  Trust God even though it feels like you are setting yourself up for failure or embarrassment.  Breathe deeply and move forward.  Like the people of Ezra’s day, lead big despite your fear.

THREE THINGS TO DO WHEN FEAR STOPS YOU

1) Admit that you’re scared.

                For many this is a hard pill to swallow.  It is natural for us to feel the need to cover up all of our shortcomings.  There are always things that only you and Jesus know – and your specific fear may be one of those things – what I am saying here is stop lying to yourself.  Don’t deny it and try to white knuckle your way through it.  Confront the fact that you have fear or insecurity or a hard time trusting God to bring you through this.  You are a bigger leader than you fear.  Confront what is confronting you and begin the journey to push forward despite your fear.

2) Build one brick at a time.

                Craig Walker, Lead Pastor of Upward Church, recently said, “A brick wall is just the same old boring brick over and over again.”  That statement rocked me.  If I want to build something big it is the result of consistently doing the same things over and over again.  How do you overcome fear?  Build one small brick at a time.  It won’t look like much when you get started, but after a few more bricks you’ll begin to see progress.  Take small steps to defeat the fear that is threatening to stop you from fulfilling God’s mission for your life.  With each step forward you are just (cheesy Pink Floyd reference coming) putting “another brick in the wall.”

3) Communicate with those closest to you.

                I promise you that someone in your close circle of friends has dealt with a fear similar to the one that is staring you face-to-face right now.  They may even be fighting at this very moment.  Share the load.  Talk with them about it.  I have a few close friends who I stay in close contact with who help me when I am dealing with fear (or anything else).  Proverbs 27.17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (NLT).  Let people into your life who can keep you sharp.  Pick up the phone, Skype, Facebook, send a Tweet, whatever you have to do…do it!  You’ll see that having someone to face your fears with in prayer is invaluable.  I am convinced that one of the primary ways that the devil stops our progress is by making us believe the lie that “Nobody else deals with this.”  That is simply not true.  Don’t let that lie force you into living and leading alone.  Communicate clearly and communicate often. 

These are just a few observations pertaining to how we can effectively deal with fear.  What are your thoughts?